Crystal Slander

Weekend Report of the 30th January

Climbers

Neil Monteith

Poul Christofferson

Nick McKinnon

Marcel ?

Well, it was another weekend in the Grampains. After working like a madman on Friday night I eventually escaped and got to my house to discover the climbing crew had been waiting for me for over an hour. My flatmates had let them in and then gone out leaving the climbing crew by themselves at my house. Trusting flatemates! We all fitted into Marcel big 4WD and set off into the night. We didn't leave until nine o'clock. I was feeling rather unwell as I picked up some flu thing from the Big Day Out.

We camped at a campground half way between Halls Gap and the Victoria Range called Boreong. We had the entire fully fitted out campground to ourselves. We didn't get to sleep until about 1am. The nights sleep was restless, the heat was almost unbearable. Morning broke with a blazing sun and a powerful wind. We played parachute with the tent and then set off on the 4WD mission up the Goat Track which crosses the Vic Ranges from East to West. This is the road which has Millennium Caves on it. We then turned off left just before Millennium and followed a rough 4WD track for over an hour up a steep mountain. We gained some series altitude and eventually reached the peak at 900m. All the way along the road were little crags which seemed to have good potential. Once we got out of the car at Crystal Palaces picnic area we were hit by freezing cold winds. Unbelievably we all had to put on thermals, polar fleece and our Goretex's. The ground was wet and the surrounding area was very lush. The walk in was across a muddy 'moor' which felt very English. I couldn't believe how cold it was my hands were almost numb. I have been extremely lazy since doing Ozy many months ago. I have not unpacked my big pack of all its aid gear so when I hike into day crags I am still lugging all my big wall gear including aiders, ascenders and haul pulleys! You walk in from above the cliff, which is rare for the Grampians. In misty weather we scrambled down a mossy gully and checked out the first routes. They looked horrid and very hard. Of particular note was a very underprotected looking 24 of Tempests that climbed a 40m wall with two big roofs and no obvious cracks. Very serious climbing indeed.

I was feeling quite sick and was lagging behind the others. My usual enthusiasm was somewhat diminished when I could hardly breath and was blowing my nose every three steps. We sidled along the base of a scary grey cliff which was similar to Crookneck in rock structure. A few death routes were passed on the way to the main wall. I was beginning to think that the cliff was way over hyped in the guide until I saw the main wall. In true Grampians style the wall was bright orange and had many obvious lines firing straight up its fifty metre high wall. The weather started to warm up so we stripped off our Gortex and started racking up. Poul and Nick teamed up for an ascent of Grand Central. It was two pitches of hard grade 21 crack. Marcel and I decided on the easier Bedazzled (18), again two pitches. Marcel led off. He climbed a slabby wall and corner with quite limited protection very quickly. He has the same style as me, crank hard and fast &endash; and don't fall off! Soon he was doing a spectacularly dodgy stomach mantle onto the small belay ledge. With legs fully flagging in space he rippled his body across the ledge until he could 'knee up' onto the ledge. Some of the most uncoordinated climbing I have ever see. I was laughing hysterically whilst he was doing it and distracting Poul from his epic he was having at the start of Grand Central. I whizzed up on second and checked out the next pitch. It looked quite nice. A few big moves on horizontals got me a blank arete. With my last pro about five metres below and a hideous wind picking up I became very worried. I felt I was going to blown off at any moment an could see no protection near. I placed a cosmetic RP1 in a sideways placement (??!!) and committed to a long traverse left move to some jugs. A very hairy move for the grade and I still had to do a few more moves to get gear in. The climb wandered left and right and I started to get major rope drag. I cranked a small roof, feeling quite pumped then did the best bit of the climb. The traverse across the lip of a big roof with fifty of clean rock below. To make things better Nick was now climbing directly below me on Grand Central. It was an awesome position and classic scary moves. It took me a awhile to rig an anchor as I had expected a rap chain, not a ledge with limited pro. Marcel seconded and we rapped off to the ground. On the way down I took some good photos of Poul onsight cranking a super classic 22 face Rising Sun with three bolts and cams. I was hanging out from above the roof and he was cranking in front of me. It was like I had my own Simon Carter photo frame. Once he started running it out about seven metres above his last gear I decided to rap to the ground I didn't want him hitting me if he fell off.

Poul on pitch 2 of Rising Sun (22)

Nick belays from the ledge at the top of pitch 1 of Rising Sun.

We rested and then decided to do White Men Can't Jump(21) on the far right side of the main wall. Marcel led pitch one up a nice pocketed slab and corner with a cool tie off protection around a natural bollard. For someone who told me he was on his limit leading 19 he seemed to have no problem with this pitch. I seconded and was surprised to see the first move of my crux pitch was stepping onto a fridge size block balanced precariously on the small ledge that Marcel was sitting on. It didn't help that I couldn't get gear until I was standing on the block. I gingerly stepped up and grabbed a good break above my head. Already feeling pumped I whittle in a wire and a dodgy cam. This pitch climbed a seemingly blank orange face all on natural gear. I couldn't work out were to go, I traversed left for a few metres but couldn't find holds to go up. I then eventually cranked up a flake above the block and latched a hidden pocket. I was pumped silly at this point from piss farting around at the start. I vowed to keep going, and not trusting my protection, kept climbing. I cranked some steep pockets, whittling in un-obvious pro and finally got to a small roof. I was super pumped at this stage and finally gave in to temptation and rested on the rope. After a quick rest I cranked the roof and continued up a further 20m on perfect horizontals with big reaches to the belay. I used every single cam that Marcel and I own on the 35m pitch. That is properly about 12 cams!! It would be death trying to just place wires. Again the pitch zigzagged all over the place so rope drag was immense by the time I got to the top.

Poul starts the runout on Rising Sun

Nick had led the final pitch of Grand Central and was belaying on the same ledge as me. His pitch was mega classic hand jamming up a steep line. Lots of trad moves, knee bars, fist jams, elbows, feet the works! I rapped down the line below and cleaned our temporary rap station half way up whilst the other three had to walk, without shoes, all the way down from top to the bottom across lots of razor sharp rock. It took them about twenty minutes to get down. It only took me about five on rap! The day was nearing the end but I still wanted to do one more climb. I choose Enter the Sandman, a half sporty arete on a free standing pillar. The route climbs an overhung prow on hecos with two bolts and a few big cam horizontals. I brought along Marcel's Camalot #4 for this job. The route turned out to be very nice and again very pumpy. I got the onsight and we rapped back to the ground. Poul had just had an epic stitching up a nice looking short grade 20 corner. Nick finished the climb off cleanly, finding a hold that Poul had missed. Considering Poul had onsighted top-roped a 23 then led it clean first go two weekends ago it was a bit strange. I think he doesn't go terribly well on cracks!

We packed the bags and headed back to the car. We lost the cairns on the way back and almost got completely lost but luckily found the road accidentally. An epic in this wet and cold cliff would not have been good. The weather had turned chilly so we decided to find a better campsite on the lower plains. We again battle onwards in the 4WD finding some very rough road. I would defiantly not recommend taking a two wheel drive on this road. We eventually got to Strachans campground at about nine o'clock. Another campsite was there which was very quite. I think they had been asleep for a awhile. We tried un-successfully to cook dinner quietly the main drawback was they were playing sections of the Boiler Room gig at the Big Day Out on Triple J. Our super deluxe meal was gigantic, we actually cooked too much and had to turf some of the pasta. In the campsite in an excellent alpine style hut with a spring bed and a fireplace. We didn't actually discover this until we woke the next morning. The hut would fit about four people in it. The next morning whilst I was at the toilet a park ranger turned up. He asked if we had paid our camp fees and we let Poul do the talking. He had a convincing foreigners accent to mask our dodgy non-payment antics. The funny thing was the ranger had to explain to Poul how to fill out the camp fee ticket as he had never done it before. Consider we spend practically every weekend in the Gramps it was quite amusing!

After this run in we didn't leave the campsite until 11 o'clock. We headed to Slander Gully, a cliff nestled in the lower western side of the Vic Ranges. On the way we passed an area known as the Chimney Pots. The cliff was massive, about 200m high and quite slabby. Apparently there are heaps of good mid-grade trad routes on this face. It looked mighty mean from the distance.

When we arrived at the walking track access for Slander Gully we noticed it was in fact a gated road. On closer inspection we discovered that the lock on the gate was un-locked. So after checking the road for potential rangers we lifted the gate and drove in. The thirty minute walk in was suddenly lowered to a casual one minute hike up a path. The crag is two distinct walls in a closed gully with a flowing creek in its centre. Quite lush in appearance and with spectacular Arapiles style rock it was an impressive place. One wall on the left side resembled a chunk of rock like Punks in the Gym. An obvious traverse line split the centre of the blankness. I wanted to climb this piece of rock! On closer inspection I discovered a two star 20 traversed the wall and climbed the middle of the face. Called Greased Nipples it was a three pitch mega classic. Nick and I headed over to check it out. I got the first pitch, a rambly slab up a juggy wall. I screwed up the belay ledge and belayed about ten metres below the proper ledge. When Nick came up and started traversing into the break on the right he pronounced it 'bloody hard!'. Marcel had just ticked a classic grade 18 on the other side of the gully and yelled over that Nick's line blanked out about halfway along. The proper line started about ten metres above us! Nick went up instead and re-setup the belay. I followed and then belayed Nick on the proper traverse., It was mega exposed, about 40m off the deck and followed the only obvious line. There was nothing for your feet, bar a few slopers and you had to horizontally hand jam across. Nick was soon setting up a hanging belay at the base of the third pitch. I seconded the amazing traverse and found it to be superb. Fully fist and hand jamming across perfect Arapiles style stone. My pitch looked gob smacking and blank. I was convinced that Nick had belayed too early and the real route must be further right. I racked up and started up just the same. To my surprise the blank face yieled big jugs and great pro. The next fifteen metres were simply stunning perfection on un-chalked Arapiles rock. The crux was protected by a RP3 and involved a big reach off some crimpers. The exposure and complete un-contrived nature of the line made this pitch one of the best climbs I have ever done. It is so rare to do such a classic on rock that appeared to be untouched by humans. If this climb was at Araps it would be caked in chalk.

Poul cranks a grade 20 route at Slander Gully.

After experiencing this classic we had lunch and headed over to do the climb that Marcel had just done, the classic Twentieth Century Black Feral Cat (18). Nick led it discovering some seriously scary runouts. The route climbs a fifity metre long black slab on all natural gear. Some of the crappy gear was shit wires behind loose flakes. Half way through Nick's lead I started to get a chronic ear ache. By the time Nick finished my head was screaming. I gritted my teeth and forced myself up the climb on second. It was rather sad being in pain on such as classic route. By the time I finished seconding I was in agony. I lay down on the ground in a fetal position, popped some painkillers and gritted my teeth. AN hour later the pain had subsided and I could walk out. During this time Poul had led a good looking 21 face and an awesome 21 arete on rock that resembled Chinese Algebra at Arapiles. Our weekend was a success. We had a four hour drive ahead of us to look forward tooÉ.